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  • Debbie Bird

Over 50 and feeling alive

When you meet a mature woman in her 40s or 50s, what do you see? A mother, a grandmother, a wife? Of course, they may be one of those things, but they are also a WOMAN. Despite possible menopausal symptoms, a lot of women are still fully functioning sexual beings, capable of, but often lacking a full sex life. I was married to my second husband for 18 years and, at the start it was all hanging from the chandeliers and waking in the middle of the night for a quickie, but as I reached middle age it diminished rapidly and I found myself going through menopause. Unlike, many women I had heard about, instead of feeling relieved that I no longer needed to ‘perform’ I discovered I was becoming increasingly frustrated.

In my youth, when married to the first husband, I worked in party plan and sold toys and sexy lingerie. I explored them all, enjoying the discount I received. Well, you would, wouldn’t you? During my second marriage, I rarely needed to use them, life was exciting and sensual. But as things changed, I returned to the toys and began to explore my own body. It was exciting and a bit ‘naughty’ to pleasure myself, something that my generation are not used to. Interestingly, it felt ‘naughtier’ because I was now older. All that drivel about being ‘past it’, ‘shouldn’t be interested at your age’, ‘have a cup of tea instead, luv’, came to mind.

But the craziest thing happened. I began to feel more, and more often. My desires woke up and I began to ‘feel’ more. I was ALIVE! With my marriage going down the pan, maybe there is life in the ‘old girl’ yet.


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